Worn To Shadows
by Brookebynature
Summary: Naley one shot. That one night decided the rest of Haley's year. One night where she was supposed to be so happy turned into a year of waiting, and hoping, and putting off what was really happening.


**Author- **Emily-Grace Mendes (Brookebynature)

**Disclaimer- **I don't own One Tree Hill, or the characters. But I own this story.

**A/N- **Set after season 3 finale. Hope you enjoy xxx

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Worn To Shadows

That night had all been a blur. Watching him fail to resurface from the water, breaking down in that beautiful wedding gown by the bridge, the sirens flashing, illuminating the trees. Everything hag been a blur.

And now, so was this. The heart monitor beeped continuously at the side of his bed, his brown hair pushed to one side, unstyled, yet she still wanted to run her hands through it. Those blue eyes she loved so much hadn't opened, not once. And now, after two months, Haley was beginning to wonder whether they ever would.

She looked down at her protruding stomach, barely contained in her sweatpants. And yet, she couldn't bring herself to think about this baby, to think about the happiness it could give them. Her hand held Nathan's, hoping that he might move it, twitch even. But she'd held his hand every day for the last two months, and he hadn't so much as made a sound.

She found his room filled with people when she returned from her doctors appointment, just a few floors below where Nathan was staying. A glimmer of hope spread through her, thinking that maybe, just maybe, he was making progress, or he had even woken up.

But the room was filled with silence, apart from the beeping of the heart monitor. And they all looked at her, Brooke, Lucas, Karen, Deb. But not one said a word. Brooke offered her a smile, and Haley tried hard to return it as she sat back down in the seat she had grown so used to.

"You should go home Haley" Deb told her one day, reaching out to touch her hand. "You look worn out"

But Haley shook her head, staring at Nathan the whole time. "I need to be here."

They'd all tried to get her to go home, if not to her own apartment, then with them. But each one had failed, and as Haley's stomach grew bigger, they knew it was no use. She wasn't leaving Nathan.

Another doctors appointment had passed, and Haley had found out that she was expecting twins. Two babies to look after now, and she could barely look after herself. She knew she should find it a blessing, to be graced with two children at once. But she couldn't even find that happiness in her to smile.

"What should we call them?" she asked Nathan one day, when it was just them alone in the room. "We need two boys names, and two girls names. And then middle names for both I guess"

She thought that maybe it would have some effect. She hoped that Nathan might hear her talking about the babies and wake up, hold her in his arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay. But he didn't.

"Nathan I need you to wake up" she chocked, stroking his hand "I can't do this by myself." She broke down then, crying into his chest as she had done so many times before. Only, previously, he had held her as she cried, smoothing her hair and rubbing her back, and telling her that he loved her.

And outside of that door, Lucas was doing the same to Brooke as they watched Haley, the dark circles under her eyes becoming a permanent feature, as too, had her rake-thin arms. But nobody could get her to eat.

She was seven months pregnant now, and fully aware that it was unlikely she would carry these babies to full term. But she wasn't prepared. The nursery wasn't decorated, she hadn't bought any clothes, or chosen any names, because that's what parents should do together. So she was going to hold out as long as she could.

Haley was finding it especially uncomfortable to sit in that chair now, her stomach preventing her from doing most things. But she perched on the edge of his bed, that way, she was closer to him, and could still smell that musky scent that she loved waking up to so much on a morning. But she didn't wake up to it now. Because she barely slept.

Whitey had been by a couple times, sending his best wishes to Haley and Deb, and telling Nathan that he'd better hurry up and get better, because he needed his help to coach the junior team. He said that they needed some attitude, some arrogance. And that's where Nathan came in.

That was the first laugh they'd all shared in that hospital room, the first time that they felt it was okay to show another emotion other that sadness and worry. But realising that Nathan couldn't join in with the laughing, Haley shed a tear, knowing that he'd have laughed at Whitey, maybe made a few comments to Lucas about how he was obviously better than him, and Whitey's favourite.

Her contractions started when she was telling Nathan about Brooke's fashion line, and how it had won her a scholarship to NYU. She'd tried to stay in there as long as she could, breathing through the pain and clenching the bed sheets when it got particularly bad.

But the doctors had brought her a wheelchair, and forced her to go to the labour and delivery ward. They all offered to come with her, Brooke, Lucas, Karen , Deb. But she'd instructed that they should come tell if anything happened to Nathan, rather than the other ay around.

And when the doctors informed her that one of the babies was breach, and that she needed a caesarean section, Haley imagined Nathan rushing in, green scrubs covering his clothes, a worried expression on his face. But he never came.

Her first daughter crying made the whole medical team clap, saying she was beautiful and healthy, and perfect. And they announced that the second baby, who was breach, was being stubborn, and didn't want to come out into the world just yet.

Haley empathised, knowing that if she were that baby, she wouldn't want to come out into the world either, not if her daddy wasn't there to see. After a few minutes, the baby was born, and the medical team clapped again, telling her that she had identical twin daughters. And when Haley saw the two pairs of deep blue eyes and two tufts of dark brown hair, tears streamed down her face. They were perfect, and she just wished Nathan was there to see.

It had been a week since her daughters had been born, and yet, Haley still hadn't named them. She'd had plenty of suggestions from both Brooke and Deb, with Brooke's consisting of, well, Brooke.

"C'mon Hales, you've got two of them, you could at least name one after me!" It made her smile though, and Haley was extremely grateful to have Brooke there.

"You could name the other one Haley!" she shrieked excitedly. "A pair of Brooke and Haley juniors!" which was met by lots of 'good lucks' from the staff on the ward, laughing at the two of them, who seemed somewhat happier than they had a few weeks ago.

They'd been born slightly prematurely, so the babies hadn't been allowed out of the ward. But a few weeks later, the doctors had told Haley that she could take them home, wishing her luck 'especially with that crazy Brooke around'

Haley had smiled, and said grateful thank you's, but knew exactly where she was heading. And it wasn't home.

"These are your daughters Nathan" she laid the babies side by side on Nathan's bed, a proud Deb looking on at her grand daughters.

"Girls, this is your daddy" she told them, kissing each one on the forehead as they seemed content to just lay there, making occasional gurgling noises and kicking their legs.

"You should name them Haley" Deb told her. "He'll love whatever you choose."

Reading some suggestions in baby name books opened Haley's eyes to the importance of the meaning of the name, rather than just how it sounded. And after much deliberation, she'd chosen the perfect names for their daughters, names that she was sure Nathan would love, just like Deb had said.

She picked one of the girls up, and cradled her in her arms, a smile appearing instantly on Haley's face. "Hey Natasha" she cooed, smiles also forming on the faces of the others, who watched and waited for Haley to name her other daughter.

"You got a middle name for her?" Brooke almost whispered.

"Natasha Hope" Haley handed her daughter to Brooke, who was still in quiet mode. Much to everyone's surprise.

"C'mon baby girl" Haley lifted her other daughter gently off of the bed as she started to cry a little, shushing when Haley rocked her against her chest.

"Maia Grace" she told them, kissing the baby on her head before handing her to Deb, who seemed like she was about to burst into tears any moment.

"I'm sorry you couldn't help choose their names Nathan" Haley whispered after everyone had gone, leaving the girls with Haley. Her hands were stroking his hair as their daughters laid beside him on the bed, sleeping, oblivious to the fact that they may never meet their daddy.

"But I named Natasha after you. It means rebirth. And Maia" she gestured to the slightly smaller baby "Means Goddess of Spring."

She had hold of his hand, a tear streaking her face as she simply watched her daughters so close to their daddy, yet she didn't know if they'd ever get the chance again.

Her head was almost touching the sheets as her eyes grew increasingly heavy from tiredness, her body feeling weak and exhausted. But Nathan's hand in hers moved. And her head shot up, her body feeling a sudden burst of energy, of hope.

"Haley"

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Please review

Emily-Grace xxx


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